Happy Place (Bonus Track)

from Estranged Wonderland by ArwenStarsong

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about

This song is a challenge to sing. it may look easy, but it was a field day for me. I wrote this when I was going thru a darker time in my life. This story is hard to type... but this is something that happened. I had a crush on a guy... and when he found out, he decided it would be cool to molest me and then tell me he didn't like me. for a long time, i felt the conflict expressed in this song, but my bf i met after the situation and my friends all reassured me that it is NOT my fault i was hurt. IT WAS THEIRS. i not only was NOT ok with him touching me, it actually hurt because i thought he was a sweet guy but it turned out he was a monster. And this was not the first time i have been sexually assaulted either. But this is a thing. it is an actual thing that happens to many men and women everywhere. Sexual abuse is NOT cool and people who decide to sexually assault someone (whether gently or hard) or take advantage of a person who actually likes them SHOULD be punished severely. Don't be like me and not press charges immediately. if you have been assaulted, seek out help. report them. find safety and comfort because you are NOT alone! and you have friends who will help and love you unconditionally. and I feel bad for those who have had it worse than me and just know that when you need a friend, i am here to hear your stories! This song is for those who have been abused sexually or physically and feel like it is their fault. THE VICTIM IS NOT AT ALL TO BLAME. DO NOT LET CONFLICT OF THE MIND OR PEOPLE INFLUENCE YOU! There are some situations that are beyond solving.... :(. but it is in these times where we can learn and move on to a better future and seek strength thru friendships. real friends will help you! and you can count on me to be a friend!

lyrics

i'm giving in
to all my emotion
i want it end
can I just disappear?
how could you leave
in the blink of an eye?
i wish it was gone
cause this pain is just too much
for me
i wish it was different
i wish i was the one
i wish i could explain
but you just won't let me
to me you're the one
and i cannot let go
i'm giving up
this can't go on like this
i cannot pretend
i'm ok with this
can i just fade away?
how could you leave in the blink of an eye?
cause you made promises
and i can't let them break....
i wish it was different
i wish i was the one
i wish i could explain
but you just won't let me
to me you're the one
and i cannot let go
just hear me out
i'm sorry i fell for you
i just couldn't help
it was too easy
i can't lose you now
cause without you it's hard
to keep going on
i wish it was different
i wish i was the one
i wish i could explain
but you just won't let me
to me you're the one
and i cannot let go
i'm going home to my happy place
where fear won't consume me
and i will be free

credits

from Estranged Wonderland, track released March 31, 2017

license

about

ArwenStarsong Madera, California

My name is ArwenStarsong and I am a vocalist (metal and operatic) and Multi- Instrumentalist (piano, hurdy gurdy, tin whistles/ recorder) from Fresno, California. I write Gothic/ Symphonic Metal Music and lead Symphonic Power Metal band, Sun Lay Silent. I am currently the only person in Central California who plays the hurdy gurdy. All proceeds here go to my band and tuition. lol! ... more